Very nice rythm although I would have liked to see more of a connection to the balance of space and the emotion connected. But I think you touched on it in the "Repeat the form" verse. Very Good.
Contemplate the space between specific sounds and the lingering balance of other instruments. Just as the portico lingers almost wanting to balance the space. What is held upon the roof catches the portico as your eye moves across the picture. The horizontal lines set the momentum of the picture. think of objects moving horizontally